In a robust speech tonight the Prime Minister Theresa May spoke passionately outside Downing Street while clutching the No. 10 cat ‘Larry’ close to her.
The PM said: “As part of a Brexit concession package that will appeal to all parties we shall be renaming Brussels Sprouts to Freedom Sprouts.”
Amid frequent pauses where she held the cat to her ear, appearing to take cues from it, she continued:
“We will be holding cross party talks over the coming days to discuss sprout nomenclature but I can assure the nation that no sprout will remain unturned as we sprout, sprout and thrice sprout as only plucky Britain can.”
After closing her her eyes and rocking backwards and forwards slightly for a few moments the PM slowly made her way back through the door of No. 10.
A Downing Street spokesman later said: “Yes, well the PM is under a lot of pressure and well…things can only get better, only get better, can only get, can only get, can only get….”