Everyone to be given a degree in ignorance amnesty
Under a new flagship education policy entitled "Degrees 4 All" the government is set to give an undergraduate degree to every person over the age of 18 thereby "eliminating ignorance and making Britain a...
Davis regrets commissioning Brexit impact reports from Institute of the Bleeding Obvious
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union David Davis has expressed regret that the Institute of the Bleeding Obvious was commissioned to compile and publish the regional Brexit impact report. In a...
Trump confirms swamp is drained and being refilled with his piss
President Donald Trump on Wednesday issued the following statement in relation to alleged failed election promises, in particular the promise to "drain the Washington swamp". In the statement he said:
"Remember my election campaign, that...
Boris Johnson has portrait in attic that grows ever more competent looking
Boris Johnson's attic contains a portrait of him that is growing ever more competent and magnanimous looking, according to his cleaner Sarah Penrose. Ms. Penrose described the moment when she discovered the painting over...
People of Earth issue statement: “We miss you George W. Bush!”
An open letter from the people of Earth published today has said simply: "We miss you George W. Bush." Earth person Gemma Hathaway from Bradford said, "We thought having George W. Bush as president...
Trump comprised mostly of cheesy Wotsits and candy floss, scientist reveals
Professor Ewan McBride from the Stevens Institute of Advanced Nuclear Medicine has published a paper in which he claims that the U.S. President is 83% cheesy Wotsit, 12% candy floss all suspended on a 4%...
