Cottaging community in turmoil as man uses public toilet as a toilet

    Today the cottaging world has been thrown into turmoil amid reports that a man has used a public convenience, popular among the cottaging community, as a toilet. A horrified witness said: “I saw this quite good looking guy go into the cubicle and was about to make my move when I heard an explosive discharge of excrement followed by a satisfied grunting noise. I really couldn’t believe what I was hearing and the stench was unbearable. I could then hear toilet paper tearing and the unmistakable scraping sound of a bottom being wiped. I was incandescent with anger as the man opened the door, washed his hands and left as if nothing had happened.”

    He continued: “I have raised it with a well known deputy police commissioner, who’s a close personal friend, and he has assured me that there will be a zero tolerance approach towards this kind of behaviour. If you want to contact him for a comment his number is behind the cubicle door along with a rather good pencil drawing of his genitalia.”