A collapse in the surging cryptocurrency market will lead to dangerous and unprecedented levels of schadenfreude and smugness, economists have warned. Professor Bill Evans of the Stevens Institute for Fiscal Studies has warned that there are massive levels of bitterness and discontent building up in society mainly as a result of people seeing otherwise talentless people making huge sums of money for doing absolutely nothing. Vince Clarke, a tax accountant said: “You know that Tracey who was down in the photocopying department, well her mate who works in IT told her to stick her savings into something called ‘Bitcoin’ about four years ago. Well a few weeks ago she rolled into the car park in a Ferrari, shouted something obscene at her boss and is reportedly now living in a beach front property in the Bahamas.
“It just isn’t fair!”, he added with rising emotion, “I really hope she didn’t cash out her investments fully and loses the lot. Yeah, that would be sweet.”
We tried to contact Tracey who was unavailable for comment but a statement issued by her publicist read:
“Hahahaha , hahahaha, hahahaha. Now, which Lamborghini to take out for a spin today. Fuck the lot of you!”