Davis regrets commissioning Brexit impact reports from Institute of the Bleeding Obvious

The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union David Davis has expressed regret that the Institute of the Bleeding Obvious was commissioned to compile and publish the regional Brexit impact report. In a statement issued today Mr Davis said:

“I accept full responsibility for commissioning the Brexit impact report from the Institute of the Bleeding Obvious. It seems the Bleeding Obvious report paints a less rosy picture of the impact of Brexit than we would have liked. The civil servants tasked with producing the report decided to use the IotBE who use a mishmash of bad news data from the World Bank, OECD, the Bank of England and the European Central Bank. We believe our usual technique of making it up ourselves would have produced a better and considerably less alarmist outcome.”

Mr Davis continued: “On the plus side it’s mostly the North East, North West, Wales, Midlands, yada, yada, yada, that are hardest hit if the Bleeding Obvious figures are realised. I’ll be too well ensconced at the leader’s teat by then to care to be quite honest. Yes, of course I mean Rees-Mogg. “