Spy known as ‘007’ ordered to stop telling everyone his name

Alex Younger, Chief of the Secret intelligence Services (SIS), otherwise known as MI6, has issued a statement to say that they have identified the source of a massive security leak within the services. Mr. Young said “We had a particular problem with one of our agents being exposed while on covert operations but have since discovered that the agent in question was deviating from standard operating procedure by telling absolutely everyone his real name. The agent who can only be identified as ‘007’ had developed a habit of walking up to known enemy agents and introducing himself using his real name and occupation. This  meant that operations that could have been executed in a covert manner instead turned into complete shit fests with multiple fatalities and damage to property running into the millions.”

Mr Young concluded the statement by saying that “the agent in question has now attended a refresher course which includes identity security techniques along with some basic health topics including  STD infection prevention.”