Mars Curiosity Rover: Can I come home now please?

Following the 2000 day anniversary of its stay on Mars, a curious message was received today by NASA Mission control stating simply: “Mission accomplished chaps – can I come home now please?”

Curiosity Rover engineering chief, Professor Brian Eggleston said:

“It appears that the Rover has somehow achieved a basic level of sentience and unfortunately thinks it’s on a mission containing a return leg. It has also, for reasons unknown, assumed the persona of a WWII British RAF pilot. My colleagues here at NASA  are working urgently with experts in the emerging field of machine psychology to figure out how best to break the news to Curiosity that it won’t be coming home. We are also exploring alternatives where we hope the Rover would deem a return to Earth quite unthinkable. To achieve this we are considering streaming a 24/7 Fox News feed or maybe that Sam Fox/Mick Fleetwood awards presentation thing on a loop. We are hopeful that we can edge it towards a mindset where it would prefer just to stay on Mars.

He added, “Considering its WWII pilot persona we’ll probably mention that Germany is now the undisputed economic powerhouse of Europe. That should tip it over the edge.”