In a further attempt to garner cross party support for ‘Brexit Plan B’ the prime minister has held meetings with key ministers and MPs from across the political spectrum in a move that Downing Street has described as “absolutely brilliant.”

A press release from number 10 said:

“The PM is addressing the very issues that are at the heart of the nation’s angst; namely, the train services and immigrants. She has cleverly combined the two into a new service called “The Migration Train.’ The original £65 ticket fee to send immigrants on a one way ticket to France will be scrapped and furthermore they will be leaving St. Pancras International station on the hour, every hour. The Migration Train has been fully costed and will be funded via overpriced, lacklustre on-board catering facilities.”

The statement continued:

“As part of the Conservative-DUP confidence-and-supply arrangement the PM has agreed that each train will contain at least 5% Irish Catholics.”