Pope Francis is out and about doing pope stuff, it can be revealed. On a recent flight from Chili the pope did some pope stuff by marrying a pair of flight attendants right there on the plane. He explained; “Sometimes I just feel the glory of God coursing through my veins and need to get out there and do some full on pope stuff. I might help the homeless or do an impromptu wedding or it might be as simple as waving from a balcony. Of all the pope stuff I do waving requires the least effort and yet gets the biggest reaction. Funny old world.
“Anyway, I like to stay on top of my game and do a lot of pope training back at HQ so that when I get out there among my flock they get to enjoy some absolutely top drawer pope stuff. I think they really dig my simple wooden cross and humble attitude rather than the garish pimp fest of some of my predecessors.
“When I’m all tuckered out from pope stuff”, His Holiness continued, “I like nothing better than to chill out in the Vatican in front of the papal telly with a warm brandy and Benedictine – nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean squire! Yes, I’m a massive python fan.”