President Donald Trump on Wednesday issued the following statement in relation to alleged failed election promises, in particular the promise to “drain the Washington swamp”. In the statement he said:
“Remember my election campaign, that was the best campaign, run by the amazing Steve Banon, he’s a good guy, really he is. Well we promised to drain the Washington swamp and flush CROOKED HILLARY down the pan along with the other Democrat detritus. I can announce that the swamp is now officially drained and is in the process of being refilled with MY PISS!! My urologist told me I have the BEST piss. It doesn’t smell bad at all not even after asparagus, it’s amazing. I have been stockpiling my piss ever since the MOST ATTENDED INAUGURATION DAY IN HISTORY and have been getting through 15 cans of diet coke a day. That’s nothing. I could drink 100 cans easy but my physician says no. Dope! What does he know anyway he’s a Democrat. Sad! So I WILL drink 100 cans of diet covfefe a day to fully deliver on my ELECTION PROMISES unlike Little Rocket Man who can only drink 5 cans before getting sick all over his tiny nuclear button. Loser!”
He concluded the statement by saying: “This will be the BEST PRESEDENTIAL PISS SWAMP EVER and a way better attraction to visit than the FAILING Mount Rushmore”.