Trump confirms swamp is drained and being refilled with his piss

President Donald Trump on Wednesday issued the following statement in relation to alleged failed election promises, in particular the promise to “drain the Washington swamp”. In the statement he said:

“Remember my election campaign, that was the best campaign, run by the amazing Steve Banon, he’s a good guy, really he is. Well we promised to drain the Washington swamp and flush CROOKED HILLARY down the pan along with the other Democrat detritus. I can announce that the swamp is now officially drained and is in the process of being refilled with MY PISS!! My urologist told me I have the BEST piss. It doesn’t smell bad at all not even after asparagus, it’s amazing. I have been stockpiling my piss ever since the MOST ATTENDED INAUGURATION DAY IN HISTORY and have been getting through 15 cans of diet coke a day. That’s nothing. I could drink 100 cans easy but my physician says no. Dope! What does he know anyway he’s a Democrat. Sad! So I WILL drink 100 cans of diet covfefe a day to fully deliver on my ELECTION PROMISES unlike Little Rocket Man who can only drink 5 cans before getting sick all over his tiny nuclear button. Loser!”

He concluded the statement by saying: “This will be the BEST PRESEDENTIAL PISS SWAMP EVER and a way better attraction to visit than the FAILING Mount Rushmore”.