Waitrose bags for life mostly filled with Lidl shopping

A bag for life usage study published by the Stevens Institute has revealed that that the average Waitrose bag is mostly used to carry Lidl shopping. The unexpected phenomenon dubbed “social camouflaging” by the research team shows that there are two distinct groups: those whose social aspirations have been reduced to a choice of one plastic bag over another, and those who feel that their social standing could be utterly ruined by poor bag choice.

A social camouflager from Dulwich in London who wished to remain anonymous explained: “We pour a fortune into our kids’ education and mortgage so I don’t have much choice but to buy most of our stuff from Lidl. But if I walk up the high street without my juco Waitrose bag for life the Dulwich mums would set upon me like a pack of starving Burberry clad wolves.”

She continued: “Anyway, with this keenly priced Lidl Kango hammer and angle grinder set I’m planning a Hatton Garden heist that will get us nicely out of this financial stew. Speaking of stew, the quality of their meat and veg is very good by the way.”